Yesterday my husband and I received a visit from a member of our church congregation who is a doctor. That is not surprising. Because of the area in which we live, most of the people with whom we attend church are doctors, med students or their spouses. His wife is one of the people who knows of my decision to have a UC, and while she tries to be very uncritical, I can also tell that she is worried. I do not blame her for her concern. I am actually touched by it.
Our church has a program to make sure that each family is visited at least once a month, so this member came by yesterday as part of a very routine visit. He started out by telling me that he had heard I was doing a home birth. I laugh. Of course he heard that! I told his wife!
I could tell that he was concerned, and we had a very interesting discussion. He allowed me to tell him first how we were prepared, and I think it helped him to hear that. What I was really interested in was that all the things that I have heard, all of my reasons for avoiding the hospital and doctors this pregnancy, he confirmed in his effort to let me know that hospitals were safer.
Hospital policies really are about protection from lawsuits and moving the most patients through "efficiently." Pitocen was developed by someone who was trying to get babies out in six hours or less. (The thought was to make it less painful. Boy did that one backfire!)
At the end of our discussion, he expressed the fervent sentiment that next time I could find a doctor or midwife who would be willing to partner with me. He sincerely regretted that it was too late to get a doctor now who would work with me, but next time.
I thanked him for the sentiment, but it made me think. People honestly think that my UC is a SECOND CHOICE! In all honesty, I never looked very hard for a midwife and I never looked for a doctor. My half-hearted search for a midwife ended with Laird's and Caradoc's conception. I was pondering midwives (because my dh wanted the security) when I started really reading Laura Shanley's site. http://unassistedchildbirth.com/
When I was reading about the peace, the tranquility of an unassisted childbirth (UC) something just clicked for me. I asked my husband to read some of it, and he poked around, discovered the concept of orgasmic childbirth and told me that he didn't want anyone watching us give birth, that it was for a husband and wife. We both felt so right. Finally we were free.
Free of constant repositioning during labor. With Tatiana I really wanted to walk or stand leaning against my husband and they kept pushing me back onto my back in bed.
Free of monitoring. Doctors are now admitting that constant monitoring during labor leads to more interventions, more panic and doesn't solve problems. Yet, they still do it!
Free of vaginal checks. This is a big one for me, and one of the reasons why a midwife is not a choice for me. Really, I don't want people sticking their hands in me. That is not an area I consider to be public domain! That is an intimate part of my body, one which I freely and fully share with my beloved husband, but no one else! Also, with Tatiana, I went from 3 cm dilation to 10 cm in the space of half an hour. Constant monitoring just made me feel like a failure because the numbers weren't what someone else thought they should be.
Free of starvation. I remember how hungry I was during labor and especially afterwards. I gave birth at 4:24 AM after 20 hours of labor. I was starving as I nursed my newborn. They helpfully told me that the kitchens weren't open yet, but I could order breakfast as early as 6:30 and handed me a tiny box of Cheerios. I cried that last half hour I was so hungry.
There are more things, the endless tests (including the iniquitous triple screen) more procedures, more useless fear bringing things that you are bound to in a hospital and even with a midwife. UC a second choice? Not even close. It is a glorious first choice! A freeing, liberating, enlightening choice. Unencumbered Childbirth.
Our church has a program to make sure that each family is visited at least once a month, so this member came by yesterday as part of a very routine visit. He started out by telling me that he had heard I was doing a home birth. I laugh. Of course he heard that! I told his wife!
I could tell that he was concerned, and we had a very interesting discussion. He allowed me to tell him first how we were prepared, and I think it helped him to hear that. What I was really interested in was that all the things that I have heard, all of my reasons for avoiding the hospital and doctors this pregnancy, he confirmed in his effort to let me know that hospitals were safer.
Hospital policies really are about protection from lawsuits and moving the most patients through "efficiently." Pitocen was developed by someone who was trying to get babies out in six hours or less. (The thought was to make it less painful. Boy did that one backfire!)
At the end of our discussion, he expressed the fervent sentiment that next time I could find a doctor or midwife who would be willing to partner with me. He sincerely regretted that it was too late to get a doctor now who would work with me, but next time.
I thanked him for the sentiment, but it made me think. People honestly think that my UC is a SECOND CHOICE! In all honesty, I never looked very hard for a midwife and I never looked for a doctor. My half-hearted search for a midwife ended with Laird's and Caradoc's conception. I was pondering midwives (because my dh wanted the security) when I started really reading Laura Shanley's site. http://unassistedchildbirth.com/
When I was reading about the peace, the tranquility of an unassisted childbirth (UC) something just clicked for me. I asked my husband to read some of it, and he poked around, discovered the concept of orgasmic childbirth and told me that he didn't want anyone watching us give birth, that it was for a husband and wife. We both felt so right. Finally we were free.
Free of constant repositioning during labor. With Tatiana I really wanted to walk or stand leaning against my husband and they kept pushing me back onto my back in bed.
Free of monitoring. Doctors are now admitting that constant monitoring during labor leads to more interventions, more panic and doesn't solve problems. Yet, they still do it!
Free of vaginal checks. This is a big one for me, and one of the reasons why a midwife is not a choice for me. Really, I don't want people sticking their hands in me. That is not an area I consider to be public domain! That is an intimate part of my body, one which I freely and fully share with my beloved husband, but no one else! Also, with Tatiana, I went from 3 cm dilation to 10 cm in the space of half an hour. Constant monitoring just made me feel like a failure because the numbers weren't what someone else thought they should be.
Free of starvation. I remember how hungry I was during labor and especially afterwards. I gave birth at 4:24 AM after 20 hours of labor. I was starving as I nursed my newborn. They helpfully told me that the kitchens weren't open yet, but I could order breakfast as early as 6:30 and handed me a tiny box of Cheerios. I cried that last half hour I was so hungry.
There are more things, the endless tests (including the iniquitous triple screen) more procedures, more useless fear bringing things that you are bound to in a hospital and even with a midwife. UC a second choice? Not even close. It is a glorious first choice! A freeing, liberating, enlightening choice. Unencumbered Childbirth.
posted by Ramona | 5:23 AM
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