Time is funny. Today as I walked along I kept thinking, "One week ago I was at the zoo with Josh. One week ago I was talking to him about his plans to marry my niece. One week ago I was talking with her about him while he ducked out of earshot. One week ago he was pushing the stroller for us, singing with us, feeding the ducks with my daughters. One week."

Today I had to explain his death to my daughters. I had to tell them about going home to live with Heavenly Father. Alayna said she would miss him. What a difference one week makes. Sometimes it goes too fast. Sometimes it is far to slow. One week ago Lauren was smiling. Now her throat sounds choked, permanently on the verge of tears. My mind can't wrap around all that has changed so suddenly.

I keep seeing Josh winking at me as I describe the conspiracy that Lauren entered into to get me married to my husband and offer to do the same for him. I keep seeing him full of plans for the future, full of love, even a bit cheesy because of it. I also saw how Lauren reacted, how she blossomed, how she worried at the speed their relationship was moving at. Josh even admitted that it was crazy, but he felt the need to move things quickly. I thought he was just in love. I didn't want it to be inspiration for this reason.

One week.